ANGER

Anger can display itself in several ways. It can be expressed in an active, violent way, destroying everything that happens to be around. An angry person can even go that far that he kills the one he hates or even one he loves. At the other side, anger can be expressed in a passive and cool way. Outwardly, one is perfectly normal, but inside one is boiling with anger, planning and executing revenge. Anger can also have a freezing effect, by which one is unable to express oneself., until the pressure is too great, and an explosion follows. In any case clarity of mind is lost.

Anger is the result of feelings of fear and vulnerability. We feel vulnerable, and we do not want to show it. We know we can be hurt, and we do not want anybody to know about it. We are afraid of these feelings, and we want to keep them out. When we feel threatened by anyone, we will act in way that will ensure that they will not recognize that we are fragile. Thus we are defensive and attack. We cannot bear the thought that another person is stronger than we, so we want to destroy him and attack with anger. Anger is a major problem in our society.

When somebody is angry at us we have to recognize that he actually thinks we are stronger than him, or that we are able to hurt him. Do not make the same mistake he did, do not become afraid of your own vulnerability, and do not react in the same way. Instead recognize your vulnerability and strength. Tell him that we all feel vulnerable, that none of us likes to feel hurt, and that uncontrolled anger will not resolve anything. Often people will give reasons to justify their anger. There is no justification. Every person is responsible for himself and for his own feelings. Nobody can hurt you, or make you angry. You decide for yourself if you will feel hurt and if you want to get angry. Hurt is based upon previous negative experiences, often from childhood. So the hurt comes up immediately, and that by itself is ok. We are human, we feel those feelings, but we do not need to dwell on them, and we do not need to get angry and retaliate.
Usually anger is expressed in an active way, but it can also be subdued. In this case we deny our pain and repress it, because we want to get on with life. Then we stop enjoying life. We have been hurt, and we do not want that to happen again, so we shut ourselves of, and harden our feelings.

So, be like free flowing water, accepting life as it flows through the universe.