"Flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the God from a pure heart. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself."
"But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place."
"Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”
"So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!”
"Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin . . . watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.”
"Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and is idolatry."
Proper View of Women...
Most images we lust after portray women as sexually animalistic and physically perfect.
But in reality, women’s sex drives are highly relationship-dependent, and their bodies are not nearly as idealistic.
Pornography, therefore, has its roots in fantasy, not reality.
But fantasy seeks to make the deluded one believe he has found truth, and it does so by using seemingly believable distortions of reality.
Hence, feeding our fantasy lives is dangerous – it removes us from reality.
Here’s a classic picture of lust: man sees woman; man undresses woman in his mind; man imagines having sex with woman. The 25 per cent of women who identify themselves as ‘visual’ can perhaps relate to this kind of temptation, but women are generally tempted differently to men.
Men tend to be aroused visually, women through touch and hearing.
Men give love to get sex, women give sex to get love.
Men usually initiate and women respond; men are excited by pursuit, women by being pursued.
Men are tempted by the pleasure of lust, women by the power of lust.
Men are often motivated by physical desires, women by emotional and relational longings.
A woman’s sexual sin may not resemble a man’s, but it’s no less serious. Women who aren’t drawn to pornography may escape into romantic movies or steamy novels that encourage fantasies about being romanced by the man of their dreams. Immodest dress, flirtatious glances and seductive body language designed to attract male attention are just as ungodly as the lustful thoughts they provoke. It’s not only sinful to give your body to the wrong person, but also to refuse to give it generously to your husband. Adultery can be emotional as well as physical: it begins with dissatisfaction with your husband and longing for someone who’ll love you better, and expresses itself in emotional attachment to another man. Until we recognize our sin, we’re fighting blind.
For men, the struggle with lust can feel like a secret badge of manhood, but for women, sexual temptation has no redeeming features; the woman who sins sexually may feel unfeminine as well as guilty. It’s especially hard for women to share their struggles when they battle homosexual feelings or seemingly ‘male’ weaknesses like pornography, sexual fantasies and masturbation. Some sins may feel too private to be confessed, like the common tendency of married women to fantasize during sex to increase arousal or hurry orgasm. Sexual issues that spring from someone else’s sin—a father’s abuse, a husband’s betrayal—can be particularly difficult to talk about because of the deep hurt involved.
One of the reason women don’t talk about sexual temptation is that we may not recognize it. Why do women sin sexually? Isn’t it because we believe the lie that our heart’s longings can be met by something other than God? We go from one boyfriend to another to find the love we long for. We indulge in fantasies to escape harsh reality. We pursue emotional intimacy with a man we’re not married to because it makes us feel good about ourselves. Sexual sin begins with the heart’s betrayal, when we turn our backs on God to devote ourselves to love, sex or romance: idols that leave us empty and broken, and that grieve God.
As Martin Luther said, “You can’t keep the birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from making a nest in your hair.”
Many people think that to be normal you have to date. But just because lots of other people do doesn’t mean you have to. It’s an option, not a need. With the upside comes the downside of definite risks and temptations. You can enjoy fun positive friendships with people of the opposite sex and be involved in all sorts of activities without coupling up with one person.
Dating is the path to marriage. You will not marry every person you date. But the person you marry will be someone you dated. Therefore every date is a potential mate. There is no such thing as “just dating”—you don’t “just” bungee jump from a helicopter, or “just” fight on the front lines of a battle and you don’t “just” date. It’s too important to say “just.” Too much is at stake.
God says “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers . . . what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
Don’t enter into any relationship that could compromise your convictions. The closer the relationship the greater the danger. The longer you allow a relationship to go on with a nonbeliever, the more cloudy your judgment will become and the more likely you will commit immorality and turn your back on God in other ways. Convictions waver when we place ourselves in the realm of temptation.
Gaps always get filled, often with temptations to sexual impurity. Know what you’re doing and either stick with the plan or go somewhere safe, where you’re in the sight of others (particularly others who respect the need for purity). You can still have a private conversation even in a room full of people. But their presence will encourage you to focus on the conversation rather than on temptation to impurity.
Always remember that you are not alone...
"What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs”.
"Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence. If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there."
"Can anyone hide in secret places so that I cannot see him?” declares the LORD. ”Do not I fill heaven and earth?”.
"The eyes of the Lord are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good”.
"My eyes are on all their ways; they are not hidden from me, nor is their sin concealed from my eyes.”
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